


Ashes

by MikiMaki



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Bad Boys, Dark, Dark Aziraphale (Good Omens), Dark Crowley (Good Omens), Descent into Madness, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Psychopaths In Love, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25250341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikiMaki/pseuds/MikiMaki
Summary: "I can't look away because my eyes are fixed on you.You, tall and fierce, standing above the ruins.Gazing at the devastation you perpetrated, beholding the magnitude of your power.Looking at your new kingdom."What if the reactions after the Apocalypse-that-wasn't were different? Crowley and Aziraphale have changed, will they manage to cope with a new world?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40





	Ashes

I fall on my knees, on a ground covered by ashes; my legs are suddenly too weak to bear the weight of my body and, while I collapse, I can feel all of my energies abandoning me, leaving me drained, exhausted.

Tears, stinging in the back of my throat, are blurring my sight for a brief, merciful moment, shielding from the view of the devastation surrounding me; even if it tears my heart apart, I find myself unable to look away. The places once so familiar to me, the same I had dared to call home a long time ago are now nothing but a grim wasteland of smouldering ruins, completely unidentifiable. All the people that were living here, my friends, my enemies with whom, in another life so far away, I laughed or cried are  _ gone, reduced to ashes, dead _ .

The same ashes that are now accumulating in my empty, helpless hands laying flat on the ground next to me, palms to the hollow sky; I let it slip through my fingers, collect into my hair until a horrifying realization hits me straight into the gut and a cold shiver runs down my spine.

_ It could be someone I used to know or what is left of them. _

A pained whine flows out my throat before I can avoid it while a sudden wave of nausea clench at my stomach: I want to shake the dust off me, I want to run away from this bloody desert, close my eyes so I do not have to witness any more of this. But I stay there, motionless, weary, with a constant flow of tears damping my cheeks. 

I can't look away because my eyes are fixed on  _ you _ .

You, tall and fierce, standing above the ruins.

Gazing at the devastation you perpetrated, beholding the magnitude of your power.

_ Looking at your new kingdom _ .

How could I've let this all happen? How could I've been so blind at your pain? 

I have been so selfish all this time that I haven't noticed that my partner, my only companion, was changing before my oblivious eyes, smothered by a rage so intense I could not even conceive; maybe, if I had been able to name that ominous spark in your eyes, I could have soothed your anger and stopped this madness.

_ Could I prevent any of this?  _ I wish someone could answer this question that I keep repeating in my mind like a mantra but I realise that the only Being in the Universe able to do that is the same that actually must have known what was about to happen and did not even raise a finger.

Well, that's the point after all: _ everything is part of Her Big Plan, isn't it? _

__ A surge of nausea clogs my throat as I realise that, for all this time, we have been moved, manipulated like pawns on a chessboard and She used you among all other to fulfil her biggest, most dreadful plan.

Heaven and Hell destroyed, ruined.

Angels and Demons wiped out by your impressive might.

You and me, last survivors of a lineage ancient as Universe itself.

_ Ruling over a kingdom of ashes _ .

There you are now, standing on the wreckage of an old world, strong and terrifying, and, for the first time, I struggle to recognise you: it feels unreal to have kissed the same lips that I see now curved in a satisfied smirk, to have caressed those magnificent wings now grey as the sky of our beloved London, so different but, at the same time, so familiar.

I remember as in a misty dream being held by those strong arms in the impetuosity of sex, being touched so gently by those hands; I have loved every curve, every edge of that body.

And may Someone have mercy on my soul, or what is left of it,  _ I still love him. _

I sense your searing gaze burning on my skin and I do my best to collect the remaining of my strength to look straight into your eyes, crimson as glowing flame, and I see a vivid ferocity in the back of them that I have trouble to combine with the idea I still have of you.

The intensity of your freed power hits me in the stomach, choking my breath, and a sudden shiver of sheer terror makes me look away from your scrutinizing look, unable to hold it any further; I feel genuinely ashamed of myself because, despite everything,  _ I refuse _ to be afraid of you. Even if you are changed both physically and spiritually I know that somehow you are still the person I fell in love with so long ago, the life-long partner who took my hand and guided me step by step through all my existence; maybe I am just kidding myself with this false hope, but I  _ desperately need _ to believe it. I would rather die than re-imagine life without you.

You must have sensed my discomfort, I can notice your eyes soften, your destructive energy subsides a little while you start getting closer to me, empty hands cautiously outstretched in front of you, like approaching a wild, scared animal. 

I can feel the slight heat coming from the light-blue flames surrounding you, physical expression of your fierce aura, heating my cold skin, seeping into my bones and mingling with my blood to whisper words of a long-forgotten language: I am not afraid now,  _ not anymore. _

Your soft fingers caress my face, immensely gentle, and I lean in your touch, almost relieved, as I did countless times before: smelling your sweet scent is like being able to breathe again after free-diving, it's like coming back home after a long journey. 

"I would never hurt you." Your voice is tender, a lover's whisper in the intimacy of the night.

I raise my eyes to admire your crushing splendour in awe: _ what have you become? _

You are not a Demon, but you are not even an Angel; you've turned into something different from the two sides that clashed for millennia over Universe's destiny, but maintaining traits from both. 

You are the first one of a new kind born from the ashes of old rivalries. 

Even knowing that, I can't refrain from calling you with the name I've always used, the one that will be forever yours in my mind:

" _ Angel _ ..." a whine from my parched throat. "Why?"

A smile arises slowly on your lips while your hand moves to pet my hair.

"It was necessary." you say as it is just a matter of fact. "They were plotting to take us down, they wanted to pull us apart. They would never have left us alone and you know it."

You sigh, taking a moment to look around you, gazing at the wasteland you have created.

"They were mean, rotten. All of them. Now I can finally understand Her Plan clearly; She  _ made me _ for this moment. She bestowed me the strength to fulfil Her Will: put an end on all the stupid strifes between Angels and Demons, take down everything we have known before to create a new order. We are gonna do the rules now,  _ my dear _ , and no one will keep us apart ever again."

Your smile becomes wider while you bend down to come closer to my face:

"I've told you, I would crush anyone who wants to hurt you,  _ my love _ ."

I can glimpse something similar to madness in the ecstatic expression of your face, a vivid spark of insanity at the back of your crimson eyes, that used to be blue as the summer sky; damn, maybe I've lost my mind too, but I can't feel any fear.

Before I manage to say anything you are standing before me again, your hand extended towards me as an invitation.

"Everybody wants to rule the world, Crowley, but only we have the means to do it. Help me forge this new dominion,  _ our reign.  _ Just take my hand and you will get power so vast you couldn't even conceive in your wildest dream. Join me and I will give you unconditional love and devotion, just the two of us against anyone who will be foolish enough to stand in our way. Will you follow me?"

I hold my breath while your silky words dig into my chest, sort of a siren song to me: and then, suddenly, I realise that there is no decision to be made. I already made my choice over six thousand years ago when, standing on the wall of Eden, I gave you all of my heart and soul; when I understood that all that I had, all that I'd ever had was yours to take. 

_ That I would have gone wherever you'd have led.  _

And while I take your hand, while I turn my back to my own nature, my voice is firm and certain:

"Till death. And beyond."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Thank you very much for having read this delirium of mine, I really hope you enjoyed it! I've had this story in mind for a very long time and I am really happy to finally be able to publish it. I know it is quite dark and I hope it did not bother you; I am trying to explore different genres of stories, but I think I am going to write more dark!ineffable husbands fanfictions cause I've really enjoyed doing it.  
> I would really appreciate to know what you think about it, feel free to leave me a comment :)  
> Sending all of you hugs and kisses xx  
> Miki


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